alles wunderbar.

• I don’t like how you followed me, then unfollowed me the day after just cos I didn’t follow you back. Then when I did follow you, you followed back. UGH WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THAT. I admit, I wanted one more follower,(eww lol) but the more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t want people from school reading my thoughts.
• Morrill kids piss me off. Talking about Kim Kardashian’s butt, porn, and the largest & smallest penis? Burning clothes? Casually bragging about your pothead lifestyle that no one gives a flying fuck for? I’m sorry. I don’t mean to generalize but seriously? I was starting to give you guys a chance too. You’re all the same. Only a few stick out for me. Y’all are good people. Fuck errybody else.
• I don’t wanna perform tomorrow anymore. After watching the seniors and juniors, I realized how shitty we looked. Sure, we only have four guys compared to their twelves, but I’m sure we could have done better. Ohwell, all in good fun. I’m not even sure if I’m doing this for me anymore.
• I’m sorry I don’t talk to you like I used to. To be honest, I don’t even know why I sign into that damn instant messager. All my means of communications are on my phone. I do care about you and what’s going on in your life, but I’m still tryna figure out what’s going on it mine. I’m sorry it’s taking so long.
• I’m sore. I wish I read my book. I can’t find ‘Bless Me, Ultima’. Pooz. I’m hungry. I wanna sleep before 12:15. Blah blah blah.

Okay, 2011 has sucked for me so far. I was convinced that setting low expectations would give me satisfaction in the event of any outcome. It’s my fault. I have no motivation. Starting tomorrow, I WILL IMPLEMENT GOALS FOR THE SPRING.

• Abs crunches/push ups
• GEAR UP w/ Algebra 2 tutor (; KEKEKE
• Ask for help in learning to read music
• New physics notebook, fresh start
• Eat a lot of oranges
• ~*CONFIDENCE*~
• Do homework

I still need to think of some okay.

I haven’t had dreams in the longest time. I used to be afraid of falling asleep because I didn’t want to have a nightmare. Nowadays I am well aware of the fact that once you realize you’re in a dream, you can control it. I wish I had bad dreams again, just so I can have a nice little challenge for my imagination. I’m glad I was lucky enough to recall my dream from last night. It’s pretty damn weird, I’ll tell you that.

My first dream (I woke up at four, then fell asleep again) was induced by “The Haunting of Molly Hartley”. All I remember was kneeling on the toilet cover, making ugly faces in the mirror. Upon making the faces, they would stay like that. Then they’d morph into demonic versions of themselves. I thought it was cool, so I made like three LOLOL. After the third one I started freaking out and called my mom. “MOM MOM MOM, COME LOOK WHAT’S HAPPENING.” I made the faces again, but they didn’t become evil or anything. My mom got all pissy and was like “YOU’RE WASTING MY TIME”. I then screamed “YOU MAKE ME LOOK STUPID.” And I punched the mirror LOL. Everything after that was blurry.

My second dream was so much weirder AHAHA. I was at my cousins’ house, napping on their couch. I was first having a dream about pokemon. A dream in a dream? ~INCEPTION~ upon waking up, I realize I was home alone. I see a whole crowd of girls outside the front door. I opened this weird little window door thing that isn’t there in real life. This one white girl was looking right at me, then screamed something at me. I forgot what she said ): poop. THEN, somehow the door magically opens and all the girls start pouring in. I hear someone say “JUSTIN BIEBER IS IN HERE.” My first reaction was like “Oh hell no.” LOL. A bunch of them rushed into the hallway. I had no control over this, but I grabbed a leather belt and started whipping EVERYBODY LOLOL. I remember leaving a mark on this one girl’s arm AHAHAHA. I was whipping them so they could leave the house, but I got really mad at this one girl so I kept her in one of the rooms. Then it suddenly becomes my house. Crazy ass dream tranformations. I left the girl to go and whip these last two girls. They stayed for some reason LOL IDK WHY. I remember somehow ending up whipping the younger girl till she started crying. She ran away, but I found her passed out with a permission slip. It said she was from Washington. I was like, ‘great, how are her parents gonna get here?’ I picked her up and left her in the same room as the other girl. When I came back, the first girl tagged her name on my brother headboard. I started yelling at her HAHHA. “WHY’D YOU DO THAT YOU DUMB HOE?” She got so scared omg …. LOL. Okay, that’s all I remember.

I told my brother about this, and he said I was disturbed LMAO.

Watch out? That’s pretty lame. I don’t see why you find her at fault, when your dumb ass misses out on practices and half asses any practice you do attend. You’re not even there the whole dame time. You either come late, or leave early. You’re a slow learner, too. Shut the hell up. Damn diva. I’m the superior diva here anyway.

I think I’ve found the beginning of my downfall; the bitter thoughts, lack of motivation. Trust issues and jumbled priorities have been brought on by the conclusion of middle school. I’m still in the process of breaking down what exactly went wrong. 

I like how my headache goes away after Kevin tells me I need sleep in order to get rid of it. 

I need white fabric and stuffing.

I need to read 236 pages from a book I’m taking my sweet time reading and complete an essay map for some book I just Sparknote’d to bullshit through a quiz by Monday. I did my other homework, that’s some progress. Why isn’t reading as interesting to me as it once was? 

Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you.
I wish nothing but the best for you too.
Don’t forget me, I beg, I remember you said:-
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, yeah.

— Someone Like You - Adele

This verse has been replaying in my head all day. I hate when that happens; the one line you remember from a song you’ve come to like constantly rings itself in your thoughts. Looks like I’m not over you. And I was starting to think I’ve come a long way, too. Damn.

Sometimes you have to sit back and analyze what you’ve done. Put yourself in my position. You’re such a horrible person with a big ego; you have no remorse whatsoever when it comes to being emotionally considerate of others. I hate you so much sometimes.

Apologizing wouldn’t kill you, you asshole.

I biked to Flickinger and back from Independence. 

I thought it was pretty far. I had five and a half hours of sleep, no breakfast, and a sore back.

Powderpuff better be worth it.

Tail. Hats. Over-sized neon colored shirt. Those are the first things I notice about you. I then begin to dig deeper.

Ukulele. Window glasses. Nike socks.

Ugh, I don’t know where I’m going with this.

Bops are dumb.

Tumblr kids can get really annoying. The ones I’m referring to are the ones who like to write posts about overrated topics, while showing you how good they are at using words to make it seem like they’re not agreeing with the popular opinion, when they’re doing nothing but that.

Sleep deprivation and self confliction make me angry and bitter. Boohoo.

Hot tea with honey. Thick crew neck and sweats. Favorite song on repeat. IMing with FEGAQ. Feeling nice, relaxed, and carefree. This is what I love about winter.

I’m afraid of being proved wrong, but life is good.