alles wunderbar.

I wish I could write about my “feelings” like I used to.

What was on my mind used to be my fuel. My emotional stability kept me going. The up and down curve was what I dwelled on so much. Without that, I’m a cold and empty shell. My failure to find any kind of writing material is what keeps me as the sad little blob I am.

Day after day, I waste so much time sifting through a dashboard I can live without. I look at the number of posts I have. It’s been unchanged for the last two months, except for any un-acknowledgeworthy reblogs. I lack the originality I tried so hard to establish for myself.

I no longer see why I should have a blog if I don’t blog. It’s just inappropriate. 

so like

• Tumblr is getting old. Too repetitive/boring.
• AIM isn’t working.
• Facebook is annoying. I’m a grammar-nazi, so I feel like shooting everyone on my facebook feed in the head.
• Twitter is useless when I’m not doing anything.
• Pandora …. ehh.

i am not satisfied

I hate that feeling I get on tumblr where I’m afraid to put whatever I want. I’m sometimes afraid to disagree with the popular opinion. I don’t want to come off as some reblog-whoring-photo blog, or some wannabe philosopher. I can’t pretend like I don’t care about it either, cos it bugs me. I’ve always been afraid to admit it, but whatevz. 

God, people suck.

• We don’t talk anymore? Aha, ‘course we don’t. You’re never available. I’m not a call-on-the-phone person either, so you shouldn’t have to try and hint out that I’m responsible for making sure we’re even in who calls who. I won’t call you, and that won’t change.
• Nothing is the same anymore. The only thing keeping me from doing anything is my fear of annoying you. I don’t even know why I care so much on whether or not I do. I end up doing it a lot anyway.
• I hate your lack of availability. I’m afraid the night of the show will prove how distant we’ve become. 
• You are so dense. You’re everything I hate about people, and you’re always just there. Fuck.
• You’re deaf and you like yelling at me. Go away, shit.
• Can you shut the fuck up? Get off your high horse and stop acting like you’re some kind of princess. And typing “LyK3 Di$z” is just as annoying as when you type “like this !”
• You’re not cute. Kill yourself.
• I hope I’ve hinted out that I don’t like you.
• You do not just take my phone and “suggest” that I let you listen to my music.

I am so bitter.